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The lady of today wants to be subjected, at least according to the cultural scientist Corinna Rckert. If a billionaire likes to subjugate and dominate ladies, that cant be so unrealistic, can it? Nor is it. Because more women than one suspects have such fantasies. Thanks to the novel trilogy 50 Shades of Grey, sexual taboos have been broken these days. Whether bondage games, blows or the pleasure of pain - sadomasochism, BDSM and related topics are obviously becoming more and more salon-like. One study found that 81 percent of women have such submissive fantasies. But not everyone has been living out these ideas in real life for a long time. Women in particular often keep their fantasies to themselves, while men talk more openly about them. But female submission is not as unusual as some ladies think. Emancipation has deprived her of her original naturalness.

Causal research: It is not always a corked childhood that lead to sex slaves

Christian Grey is one of the most coveted male novel characters of all time. What woman doesnt want a hot date with the sexy billionaire? But do you really fit together? Take the partnership test here and find out! Inexperience and childhood traumas are not always behind the tendency to submit or dominate. Rather, it is an evolutionary instinct in us humans that has always been there. In the American trade magazine Journal of Sex Research a study was published in which over 66 percent of women reported rape fantasies. It is not primarily a question of being really raped. The fantasy is usually enough to be sexually aroused. Experts claim that the feeling of pleasure of submission and dominance is already thousands of years old and has long slumbered deep inside all of us. But it is precisely social developments that have deprived female submission of its naturalness. For with emancipation, the boundaries of the sexes in society disappear; female subservience is difficult to reconcile with this context. Nevertheless, the desire is slumbering in many women. The couple and sex therapists Peter Schrter and Doris Christinger clearly show in their book that about 80 percent of women feel the need to be simply taken. However, most women are educated to strength and equality through emancipation, so that few dare to really listen so deeply into themselves.

Why the domination game is so attractive for women

In the psychology of the masochist, experts see sexual submission as a processing mechanism of fear of rejection. Those who surrender completely are not rejected and make themselves unique to others with their own will. This also leads to commitment. This applies to both men and women. Female emancipation, however, has also ensured that female submission becomes more and more attractive for some ladies in bed. The contrast does it. In everyday life, women must function, play a role and be as strong as men. Whether at work in the management level of a company, as a mother or as a successful partner, women are self-employed and now have everything in their own hands. In a sexual relationship, therefore, it seems attractive to simply let oneself go, let someone else decide and just follow. Its not always about submissive behavior, even intense devotion is a way of letting go that seems impossible in everyday life. An important aspect for many women is also to be able to speak freely about responsibility. By giving the leadership, the subordinate can do nothing for what is done with her. This frees many a lady from various feelings of shame. The idea of safety is also a reason - the man takes care of everything around her. In many women the desire for a binding bond slumbers, both on the spiritual level as well as on the physical level - with the female emancipation there is only less public talk about it.

Dominance as a male symbol: Why men want to control

Someone must have served as a template for the author! And there is also a lively BDSM scene. So where are the true Christian Greys of this world? The search begins! The psychology of the sadist says that he wants to maintain his self-esteem by dominating another. Particularly in the intimate sexual realm, some fear rejection and devaluation. By demanding submission, he protects himself from rejection and can give free rein to his lust. Men in particular are both evolutionarily and socially trimmed to strong sex and tend to pursue dominant sexual fantasies. The hunters and gatherers must conquer, assert themselves against resistance, fend off competitors, protect their offspring and display their power. But here, too, emancipation has wreaked havoc. In a modern partnership both partners have equal rights, nowadays the ladies also take the important steps in the seduction game and the man is weakened in his dominance. The partner is supposed to be the sensitive womanizer who does not confuse his best friends with macho slogans and at best reads every wish from the ladys eyes. Hardly any man dares to take on the leading role. But the erotic part of the relationship should be separated from this modern understanding. Because very few women wish for a frightened man who stops abruptly as soon as she screams a little. In bed, he should prove his strength and stand his ground completely! There is only one true rule - but who really has the power? When spoken openly, men and women usually harmonize against all odds. Sometimes its just devotion, sometimes its easy leading, but when dominance meets submission its far from clear whos really in charge here. Because the subordinate exudes through his devotion an erotic power in which the dominant is captivated with his lust. Who then seduces whom here? Isnt it also the case that Anastasia seduces her Christian Grey into a completely different kind of relationship, which he had originally striven for? With her No she always has the real reins in her hand. In the end, there is only one rule that actually applies in sexuality and in love: what is allowed is what pleases: If both partners have fun with it and neither experiences suffering - then why should something be taboo? Go ahead, ladies: Why dont you talk about your secret sex fantasies? And if you find a like-minded partner on the couch at home, you can choose a seminar as an introduction. Here, dangers are pointed out, important handling rules are taught and essential basics are taught. Because particularly with too impetuous beginners it comes in the new role plays to unwanted accidents, which spoil any desire on continuation. And nobody certainly wants that, right?;

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